Grief Counselling
Grief is an experience in response to the loss of something or someone valuable in our life. The loss can come in different forms - e.g., loss of a loved one, loss of a job or an object, an end to a relationship or friendship. Everyone experiences grief differently, and it manifests in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. There is no right or wrong way of experiencing or responding to grief and loss.
For a long time, grief has been conceptualised as the “Five stages of Grief”, ranging from denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Nonetheless, more recent understandings of grief indicates that our experience of grief cannot be reduced to these five stages in such a linear way.
Grief can be a very personal experience. Therefore, it is often helpful to understand grief based on our own circumstance and personal vulnerabilities. Making sense of grief and our losses in a meaningful way with a psychologist is a great start. Following this, we can then learn how to grow with and make room for this experience in an adaptive way.
frequently asked questions
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Grief and loss manifests in various forms and ways, and looks differently for everyone. Grief and bereavement occurs when we’ve lost something and / or someone meaningful and / or significant in our lives. These losses can include interpersonal relationships, employment, pets, pregnancy etc. Some losses are implicit and less discussed, yet could have significant impacts, such as loss of identity, lifestyles, physical health, financial stability, proximity with a closed person or someone who is facing expected / upcoming losses etc.
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Grief and bereavement is a natural response to loss, and comes with intense emotions. Individuals who experience grief would usually be able to resume daily functioning, after periods of time.
While the experience of grief and Depression might seem similar initially, bereavement tends to decrease in intensity with time. On the other hand, the symptoms of depression are persistent and pervasive.
Complicated grief occurs when bereavement lasts longer than expected (usually 6 months), with limited relief of intense emotions. Complicated grief is contributed by a number of factors, such as genetics, our emotional regulation skills, and if we are allowed space and opportunities to make sense of the grief in a healthy way. Depression is often part of complicated grief.
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Yes, children and adolescents understandably make sense and process grief differently to adults. Play and behavioural observation is usually involved in grief counselling for children and adolescents.
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It is a common misunderstanding that grief counselling is about moving on, which has the implicit meaning that we are trying to forget about the loss or the person.
In fact, grief counselling involves making sense of our emotions, and allowing ourselves time to honour what / who has been lost. Rather than moving on, we aim to make room for our loss and painful emotions, and learn to integrate and manage these in our lives in a healthy way.