Ask a Psychologist: Differences between Internalising and Externalising Behaviours in Children, and Psychological management

Our behaviours can be both invisible and visible to ourselves and those around us. This can have an effect on our mental health, as we may find it difficult to acknowledge and understand the reactions of the body to certain events. Emotional and behavioural conflict usually fall into two main categories – internalising and externalising. Knowing the difference can be helpful when identifying emotional concerns. 

Internalising Behaviours

Internalising behaviours are directed inward, and are often hidden. This means the typically outward indicators remain hidden, thus the individual may be struggling internally. Whilst these behaviours may seem less damaging than more obvious reactions, that is not reality for many. 

These behaviours can include:

  • Anxiety or excessive worry

  • Depression, or negative thoughts

  • Social withdrawal (avoidance)

  • Physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea or fatigue without a clear cause

Indeed, these signs are subtle and often go unnoticed or are misunderstood. Such behaviours can cause harm to one’s mental health, self-esteem, and relationships with others if not managed properly. At a heightened but controlled level, these behaviours can simply be reactive to different stressors in our lives. It is when these behaviours become chronic that these tendencies can turn into internalising disorders. 

Internalising disorders include:

  • Mood disorders

  • Anxiety disorders

  • Dissociative disorders

  • Depressive disorders

Implementing strategies for managing this type of behaviour can allow an understanding of how they impact both mental health and personal relationships. Internalising behaviours can stem from genetics, environmental factors, and past experiences. Therefore, recognising specific behaviours that stem from specific events is crucial for developing effective strategies for management.

These strategies include:

  1. Identify Triggers: recognising situations, thoughts, or events that evoke behaviour

  2. Emotion Regulation: practice techniques such as mindfulness to regulate emotions

  3. Challenge Thoughts: challenge negative or irrational thoughts that contribute

  4. Supportive Network: connect with loved ones who can offer encouragement 

  5. Lifestyle Changes: prioritise activities that promote well-being (e.g., exercise, sufficient sleep)


Externalising Behaviours

Externalising behaviours are more noticeable and disruptive than internalising behaviours. People who exhibit externalising behaviours have trouble controlling their emotions and display them in an open manner. These can affect a person’s relationships, potentially create conflict or draw attention towards themselves.

These behaviours can include:

  • Aggression or acting out

  • Impulsivity or poor self-control

  • Rule breaking

  • Antisocial behaviours 

  • Emotional dysregulation

These tendencies are often easier to see and acknowledge, but they still need understanding and support. When one displays these behaviours, there is a tendency to believe that they require discipline, especially in children. Instead, a desire to understand why someone behaves in such an aggressive manner should be prioritised. Similar to internalising behaviours, factors that play a role in displaying this type of behaviour includes genetics, environmental risk factors (e.g., exposure to violence), and comorbidity (e.g., substance use, anxiety, depression). Hence, this is a multifaceted issue that requires a mindful approach. If left untreated and unmanaged, these behaviours can manifest into specific disorders such as:

For children and adolescents, emotion regulation is an important and effective tool to support and address behaviours characterised by acting out. This may include:

  1. Identify and Understand Emotions: recognise own and others’ emotions 

  2. Positive Self-Talk: manage impulses and difficult situations

  3. Teaching Perspective: help children empathise and understand others’ perspectives


Why Knowledge & Psychoeducation Matters

Behaviour is often a signal of deeper emotional needs. Through early recognition of these patterns in children, we can begin to acknowledge that their behaviours may be a sign of a need for support rather than further discipline. Stronger mental health support can be achieved whether at home, at school, or in daily life once we understand and encourage personal growth, and cultivate an understanding of the differences in how we display and manage our emotions.

Dishan Senaratne