Acceptance and Commitment Therapy To Navigate Grief | Insights From A Hawthorn Psychologist

Grief is a deeply personal experience that impacts every aspect of our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a job, or a significant life change, navigating the path through grief can be challenging. With insights from a Hawthorn psychologist at Inner Eastern Psychology, we’ll delve into the practical application of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how it serves as a valuable intervention for those dealing with grief, aiding them in their journey toward healing and improving psychological flexibility.

Understanding the complexities of grief | Insights From A Hawthorn Psychologist

Grief extends beyond a mere emotional response to loss; it’s a complex process that influences thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Loss takes various forms, whether it’s the departure of a loved one,the end of a significant relationship, or letting go of some important parts of ourselves. The journey through grief involves navigating a spectrum of emotions and manifests in diverse thoughts and behaviours among individuals. This path is uniquely challenging, shaped by individual circumstances, childhood development and coping, as well as personal vulnerabilities.

Therapy for grief, or grief counselling, is specifically designed to aid in processing and coping with loss. You can consult with a Psychologist in Hawthorn,  who provides a supportive environment to help you understand what your underlying vulnerabilities are, and how you can best navigate the emotions tied to grief. There are many different ways to look at and manage grief, and one of them is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) emerges as a gentle yet effective therapeutic approach, backed by evidence in addressing many mental health conditions, including complex grief and unresolved loss. This practical framework comprises tools aimed at cultivating psychological flexibility and guiding patients to mindfully navigate their challenges and difficult emotions.

As per insights from the American Counselling Association, ACT proves beneficial in circumstances  of prolonged and complex grief by prompting clients to utilise mindfulness to embrace and manage their experiences. The therapy fosters enhanced self-awareness and acceptance of one’s emotional state and current circumstances, letting go of the struggle with their emotions. This process enables individuals to make sense of their experiences, effectively addressing their (emotional) suffering, and facilitating the construction of meaningful actions based on their values by acknowledging what is important in their lives.

Six processes of ACT in grief counselling


1. Clarifying values

Identifying one’s core values serves as a guiding step in navigating the grieving process. Psychologists play a role in assisting clients to discern what genuinely holds significance for them, fostering a sense of purpose and direction in their lives. This might be done via a questionnaire or some guided /targeted questions. This step proves particularly valuable in the context of grief, where the immediate impulse after a loss is often to take swift actions to alleviate pain. Without a foundation of purpose and meaning, these actions can become unfocused and directionless. Values act as a constant reminder, grounding clients in their purpose and providing direction as they move forward.

2. Committed action 

This marks the pivotal culmination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), involving the management of psychological obstacles by establishing meaningful goals and taking actions in line with one’s values. Prioritising these values becomes a crucial tool in managing anxiety, enabling patients to channel their energy and time towards meaningful pursuits. This deliberate focus aids individuals in reconstructing their lives in a manner that respects their unique journey. The actions involved can span the spectrum from physical, such as exercise, to emotional, such as allowing oneself to express grief through tears.

This step holds particular significance in the context of grief management. Grieving often triggers emotions of hopelessness and depression, fostering a belief that inaction is the preferable course. However, engaging in behavioural avoidance incurs high costs, contributing to distorted beliefs about one’s ability to cope and manage difficult emotions in our life.

3. Acceptance 

Acceptance within the context of ACT signifies the openness to embrace and acknowledge both pleasant and unpleasant emotions and / or thoughts without judgement, with the goal of developing skills to acknowledge and make room for pain. This proves crucial, especially for individuals experiencing grief, as they often engage in experiential avexperiential avoidanceidance – avoiding emotions for temporary relief. This step involves a deliberate process: recognising the feeling, normalising it, mindfully labelling the emotion, and allowing space within ourselves to understand and unfold our emotions.  

4. Being present 

ACT promotes a present-focused mindset, empowering individuals to recognise that change is attainable through mindfulness. The practice of mindfulness activates the parasympathetic nervous system, enabling individuals to attentively observe their internal and external experiences. Internal experiences involve thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, while external experiences encompass the sensory aspects of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. This step proves particularly beneficial for those dealing with grief, as it facilitates focusing in the present moment and re-engaging with life.

5. Cognitive Defusion 

Cognitive defusion is a process that entails creating distance from emotions and/ or thoughts in order to manage them more effectively. This involves establishing a space between oneself and their thoughts and feelings, allowing for a discernment of which thoughts contribute to the well-being and deserve their attention. This approach aids individuals in reframing their perspective, helping them move beyond viewing the world solely through the lens of grief, and the associated experience. By doing so, individuals come to realise that grief and loss, while impactful, do not define their whole identity and reality.


6. Self as context

Self-as-context is a process where an individual transitions into an observer of themselves, reducing the  embodiment of their thoughts and feelings. In essence, individuals start seeing themselves as the central character in a story. This shift is crucial in navigating grief, as individuals frequently interpret their thoughts and emotions as irrefutable facts. By adopting the perspective of an observer, they gain the freedom to break free from responding to repetitive stories looping in their minds. This newfound perspective empowers them to take committed actions that align with their values, rather than being entangled in the narratives that may hinder their progress.


ACT to navigate grief 

As individuals engage in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, they often see an improvement in their psychological flexibility, resilience and capacity to navigate grief. By accepting the pain of loss and committing to actions that align with their values, individuals can foster a sense of purpose and direction in their lives. The transformative power of ACT lies in its ability to guide individuals toward a place of healing, allowing them to carry the memory of their loved ones while forging a meaningful path forward.

Schedule a consultation with a Hawthorn psychologist

There is evidence that ACT is beneficial for individuals  navigating grief. By utilising mindfulness, acceptance, and committed action, individuals can see an improvement in psychological flexibility, enhancing resilience and capacity to cope with painful emotions. 

At Inner Eastern Psychology Hawthorn, our team of psychologists are trained to provide evidence-based practice, including ACT. . Contact us today, and we’ll be here to assist you on your journey.


Kane Waters