Ask a Psychologist: What helpful therapy looks like

Most people picture therapy as sitting on a couch with a box of tissues where a professional asks how certain things “make you feel”. Whilst this is how therapy is usually depicted in movies and tv shows, there is a lot more to therapy and what it involves. Helpful therapy is more active, collaborative, and transformative in nature than what most people expect. 

Psychologists are driven by you, e.g., what you want to talk about, and what you need support with. It will look different from person to person, with support, trust and teamwork always at the forefront. Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or reflecting on your current experience, below are some key points that highlight what helpful therapy may look like.

1. Safety

Psychological safety is a core principle of helpful therapy. A psychologist creates a safe space for you to be able to speak on and unpack emotions without shame, dismissal, or criticism. This doesn’t necessarily mean they will agree with everything you say. They will approach you with curiosity and respect you and your feelings. The goal is not always to provide a diagnosis or fix a problem. It may involve supporting you to explore anything you discuss during sessions. 

2. Collaboration

Helpful therapy is something you participate in, not something that is done or happens to you. Psychologists often explain their approach in a transparent and understandable manner, inviting feedback, setting goals, and open to adjustments when needed. It is the idea of working together toward meaningful change rather than being spoken at. Both you and the psychologists are active participants. Even when the psychologists are just “listening”, they are actively listening, thinking and formulating at the same time.

3. Insight

Gaining an understanding of why you may respond in certain ways to your emotions of events is empowering. Psychologists can ask questions in a way that helps you gain further insight into your challenges. They may also utilise strategies influenced by evidence-based models such as Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT), or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), to help challenge unhelpful thought patterns, regulating emotions, communicating boundaries, building self-compassion etc. Helpful therapy finds the balance between reflection and taking action, and the balance of acceptance and making changes. 

4. Challenge

Indeed, therapy can feel uncomfortable. Helpful therapy involves confronting and facing difficult memories, patterns, or emotions, and may leave you feeling emotionally drained. However, understanding the importance of productive discomfort is important to effective therapy. A Psychologist will work at a pace that is manageable and empowering for you. If you are not ready to explore certain emotions or events, there is no pressure to do so – the goal is to build up trust and safety to feel ready to go deeper. 

5. Progress

The effects of therapy are not an instant fix. Breakthrough moments can happen, however, the impact of lasting change is a gradual process. Having small shifts or changes in behaviour, reactions, and emotions will compound over time to create larger change. Growth is progressive and helpful therapy will acknowledge how progress is a continuous concept, not instant. 

6. Nonlinear

You may feel that some weeks feel really strong and great progress is made. Other weeks may feel slow and that issues are repeatedly discussed. This is normal in therapy. Progress isn’t a straight line, but helpful therapy allows you to have the space for setbacks to occur without perceiving them as a failure. 

Therapy is not a space where someone tells you what to do, discusses themselves more than you, or an endless conversation with no direction. Helpful therapy is structured, respectful, compassionate and collaborative to aid in a better understanding of yourself. It combines warmth with accountability and insight. It is important to remember that therapy may not always feel ‘good’. The overall experience should help you feel supported, empowered, and allow you to make meaningful changes. 

If you would like to find out more about what Inner Eastern Psychology offers, feel free to contact us to discuss further.