Why does my Psychologist ask about my Childhood in Therapy?

Therapy looks differently for different individuals and psychologists. Very often, you may find your psychologist doing an assessment at the initial phase of therapy, with the aim of understanding you as a person, your struggles, your goals, what you are currently dealing with etc. In addition to discussing your current situation, psychologists ask about the past, how we grow up, our interactions with others, our caregivers, and our overall childhood.

Some people may ask why my childhood and distant past be relevant to my current struggle, and how that is helpful. This is a valid query. In therapy, there are usually a few goals and aims, such as to reduce current problems / symptoms, and to reduce the likelihood of problems reoccurring. To reduce symptoms, it is important that we understand how and why certain struggles exist and originate, as well as what our struggles are perpetuated by. This is what psychologists do as a ‘formulation’, which is an important part of training for psychologists. To understand how certain problems, behavioural and emotional patterns are formed (and reinforced), we need to investigate and understand childhood and development in a meaningful way.

What does a Psychologist want to know about my childhood?

Different types of background information are helpful for a Psychologist to make an assessment and formulation of our problems. Psychologists would like to know what your infancy and toddlerhood was like, your personality and temperament, how your care givers responded to you (when you were happy and when you needed support), your interpersonal relationships, how you (learn to) manage emotions, and develop understanding of emotions, your sense of self, how you or others are meeting your needs etc.

These are just small parts of what a Psychologist would consider in their assessment. All these factors are likely to contribute to our relationship to ourselves, emotions and behavioural response, which subsequently are relevant to our mental health and emotional wellbeing.

For example, if you are a child who is emotionally in tuned and feel emotions deeply, what you may need is a validating response from a caregiver when you have an emotional experience, and learning how to manage these emotions in a non-judgemental and non-blaming way. This way, you learn to develop an effective emotional management system. However, a mismatch of your needs and your environment (and others response) may contribute to a lack of certain skills, which may perpetuate some emotional challenges when they occur later in life.

Emotions and Benefits of discussing childhood in therapy

It is worth mentioning that discussing childhood in a meaningful way may feel overwhelming and emotionally intense, as we touch on some intimate and intricate details of childhood. For some people, this may activate or bring up emotions and thoughts that are new, and very often, ones that are helpful to work through with the help of a Psychologist.

By understanding how and why, and formulating our challenges with information including our childhood and history, it helps us understand why we are struggling in a certain way. Many people find this experience validating and reassuring, that ‘they are not the problem’. Additionally, through discussing childhood in therapy with a psychologist, we can then learn to look at the gaps of knowledge and skills to improve our everyday emotional wellbeing.

It is important to note that learning new skills and changing old behaviours is not a short-term task. These systems are developed over many years and are often in place to help us feel safe and contained, despite these not being healthy. It is unrealistic to expect ourselves to change old behaviours and emotional responses only after a few hours of therapy.

Attending therapy, developing an understanding of ourselves and making changes is an incredibly courageous step that one takes towards improving emotional wellbeing. If

you or your loved ones want to explore this option further, feel free to get in touch with our Client Support Team to discuss how we can help.