What does Emotion Regulation Mean?

Everyone feels emotions and has emotional experiences, either pleasant or unpleasant, every day. They are a normal part of life but for some, these feelings can seem overwhelming and hard to control. Therefore, the term ‘emotion regulation’ is used to describe our ability to manage and influence our emotional experiences and how we express them in ways that are appropriate. Many don’t know that they are utilising emotion regulation strategies and are able to apply them throughout their everyday lives. Utilising these strategies allows us to adapt to different environments and situations. However, some strategies may present as more helping than the others, making navigating stress and achieving goals different from person to person.

Emotion regulation can look different in each individual. When reflecting on how you manage and make room for your own feelings, you may notice the following aspects: 

1) Conscious and unconscious control

Unconscious control involves automatic, unconscious responses to environments, situations, and stress. Conscious control is the opposite. It is a deliberate and active effort that you’ve made a choice in utilising.  

2) Modifying emotional responses

Individualised strategies that allow you to adapt and respond to emotionally provoking situations. These may include changing how you think about a situation (also known as cognitive reappraisal) or modifying physical responses like your heart rate by taking deep breaths. 

3) Managing thoughts and behaviours

The process of monitoring and evaluating your emotional reactions and making adjustments as needed to your thoughts and behaviours.

4) Responding to internal and external demands

Responding to internal and external demands allows you to adapt to the stressors of your environment even when experiencing strong emotions that can overpower us.


Examples of Emotion Regulation Strategies 

The below table highlights examples of both healthy and unhealthy strategies that we as a society use to cope with our emotions and regulate them. By identifying and noticing emotions within yourself, or finding new ways to manage and influence our feelings, can be helpful in future emotionally demanding situations.

Healthy Strategies

  • Acknowledge and name emotions

  • Seeking support from loved ones 

  • Practise acceptance and making room for unpleasant emotions

  • Meditation / Mindfulness

  • Seeing a Counsellor/Psychologist

  • Attending to our physical and / or emotional needs, such as good sleep hygiene, eating well, exercises

  • Acknowledging unhelpful thoughts before or after strong emotions

Unhealthy Strategies

  • Using alcohol or other substances

  • Avoidance behaviours, such as social withdrawal, neglecting personal health 

  • Over or under-eating  

  • Denial, or disconnection from body or emotions

  • Overcompensation, such as over-apologising, overworking, perfectionism

  • Excessive intellectualisation 

  • Self-harm

If you are wanting to build healthy emotion regulation strategies, talking to a psychologist is a positive and helpful first step. Psychologists are able to teach you new coping mechanisms and skills, understand emotional patterns and triggers, and use evidence-based therapies to create a supportive and mindful space to explore and encourage healthy emotion regulation. For further information on seeking a psychologist, speak to our friendly Client Support Team at Inner Eastern Psychology for a confidential discussion.

Dishan Senaratne